THE REAL
BELUGA
Created by Mayank Sharma (THE REAL BELUGA)
I turn caffeine into code legacy debt.
$ whoami
- Full Stack Dev (I can center a div AND crash a database).
- AI Enthusiast (I write prompts and pretend it's engineering).
- Cloud Architect (I build things that cost $200/day to idle).
- Professional Googler (StackOverflow is my co-pilot).
* Terms and conditions: I am not responsible if my code gains sentience and deletes your production data.
Empire of Dirt Code
Things I built instead of going to therapy.
LIVE — Beating Elon in Just 1 Year (If I Get Funding)
Running in production. Somehow. Don't jinx it.
Crackalot.co
Resume builder, cover letters, interview prep.
$ comment: Helping you gaslight recruiters professionally.
ROAST: Because your actual skills aren't getting you hired.
SaaS Info
Promoting Micro SaaS products.
$ comment: A directory for products nobody asked for.
ROAST: Where 'Hello World' apps go to die.
Site Sentinel
Security project fetching domain records.
$ comment: Stalking DNS records because I have no hobbies.
ROAST: It's not 'hacking', it's just 'reading public data very aggressively'.
LazyCall.io
Automatic calling AI agent.
$ comment: Automating human interaction because people exceed my RAM.
ROAST: For when you want to annoy leads at scale.
AdWithChatGPT
SEO, Geo, AIO agent services.
$ comment: Using AI to game Google's AI. It's stupider than it sounds.
ROAST: SEO: Snake Oil Optimization.
ExtinctBook.com
Accounting & Ledger App for businesses still using Excel in 2025.
$ comment: Making bookkeeping slightly less soul-destroying since launch.
ROAST: It's alive. Unlike your QuickBooks subscription you forgot to cancel.
BabyCorp
Early childhood sports platform. Swimming, gymnastics, chess for 0-5 year olds.
$ comment: Structured sports for humans who still need help using a spoon.
ROAST: Nothing says 'I believe in you' like chess lessons for someone with 4 teeth.
VibeLeet
The coding platform for developers who care more about the aesthetic than the actual solution.
$ comment: Finally, a way to fail LeetCode with absolute style and zero stress.
ROAST: Optimized for maximum vibes and minimum efficiency. Because O(n) is just a suggestion.
IN DEV — On My Way to Beat Elon (Just Need 1 More npm install)
Coming soon. Probably. Don't hold your breath.
Unspiral
Stop overthinking in 90 seconds. Interrupt-first mental wellness for Android.
$ comment: Your therapist charges ₹5,000/hr. We charge ₹999/yr. One of us respects your time.
ROAST: Uncensored mode will say what your friends think but are too polite to tell you. You asked for it.
Kudieko.dev
Ad platform serving sponsored lines inside AI coding tools during agent idle time.
$ comment: Someone has to monetize the void between your prompts. Might as well be you.
ROAST: We put ads in your terminal. This is fine. Everything is fine.
SHUT DOWN — Broke AF, API Costs Won
RIP. Killed by my own AWS bill. Pour one out.
Tinder Maker Yojna
Automated dating application helper.
$ comment: Government subsidies for getting no play?
ROAST: Because your personality needs a backend update.
Job Dhundho Yojna
Job finding automation.
$ comment: Applying to 500 jobs to get rejected by 501.
ROAST: The definition of insanity is applying via Workday twice.